Prolonged Grief
Grief hurts. Loss is painful. If we allow them to support our growth in life, they are necessary twins of the same planet. Prolonged grief happens when we experience a loss in life that is so painful, and the emotional and physical reactions stop us from moving forward. There are significant reasons why this happens. Keep reading understand how loss perpetuates grief, creating fear of loss.
Grief
The American Psychological Associate defines prolonged grief as “an intense longing for or persistent preoccupation with the deceased person.” Grief is very different than that from medical depression. In traditional grief, one feels intense sorrow, pain, and rumination over the loss of a loved one. When grieving, one can often become fixated on the loss and intensity of the pain that they miss the growth that grief offers.
How Grief Tends to Linger
Many studies have outlined how grief and loss become prolonged due to the dormant physiological effects. According to the Mayo Clinic, depression, sleeplessness, loss of appetite are the longest-lasting symptoms of prolonged grief. Early on, these symptoms ebb and flow without rhyme or reason. The more inactive you are, the more depressed you’ll feel. Stagnant depression is because your brain requires stimulation to process emotions and understand pain. The more you depress yourself by not being active, the more you give in to the symptoms of grief.
Loss
As noted earlier, symptoms associated with grief are similar to the symptoms associated with loss. Losing a loved one often places a void in the heart. In addition, loss creates numbness and a sense of “being in a daze.” This daze feels just like depression. Hopelessness. Helplessness. Furthermore, this also creates overwhelming sadness, with bouts of crying.
Grief and loss follow a similar emotional cycle as well. For example, grief and loss have components of anger, tiredness, exhaustion, and guilt that can come in waves. Although these feelings might not always be on the surface, they are much like an iceberg; you only feel a small amount of energy on top, but underneath is a much more significant threat.
What Can I do With This Information
Grief and loss are mental health dynamics that are not explored nearly as much as they can be. For example, like the Mexican culture, many cultures celebrate the loss of loved ones passed. Día de los Muertos is about celebrating community as well. Some other helpful tips outlined by the NHS are :
- Surround yourself with loved ones
- Find ways to be happier (seriously, it’s like using a muscle)
- Set a consistent sleeping pattern
- Reach out to people who have suffered loss as well
- Find free mental health tools
- Find a good therapist
Moving Through Grief
There are plenty of free online tools to help many people with multiple life dynamics. Self-help is good and often very helpful. However, I want to encourage you to seek professional help when dealing with areas of prolonged grief that tend to debilitate you. Self-help manuals offer great advice, but a trusted therapist can help you see your potential blind spots in recovery. Think of it like this; have you ever tried to tickle yourself? It rarely works. That’s because your brain is anticipating it. However, as you read self-help manuals, your brain discovers ways to be more creative. After all, the brain is the only organ to name itself.
Reach out and see how we can support your growth and help you pass through grief and loss. Our psychotherapists are all trained and licensed through the State of Colorado. We are conveniently located in Wheat Ridge, Colorado, just next to Arvada and Golden Colorado. We are local and trusted.