Anger is a natural emotion. It’s unpleasant, but we all get angry from time to time. Anger can even be helpful. For instance, anger can wake you up to the fact that it’s time to make some changes in your life, or alert you to the fact that you’re being treated poorly in a relationship. 

But the way you handle anger might not be healthy. In fact, if you don’t know how to manage your anger in a way that actually serves you, it can hurt yourself and the people in your life. It can even get in the way of your personal and professional success. Here’s how to better manage your anger so that it doesn’t stop you from cultivating healthy relationships and achieving what you want in life.

Express Yourself Calmly

When you get angry, it can be tough to resist the temptation to yell and shout. But how do you feel after engaging in an outburst? In the moment, it can feel cathartic. But after a few moments, you generally come to regret it. And raising your voice at someone can hinder you from working with them to find a solution to the problem you’re facing. If you feel like you’re on the verge of an outburst, take a deep breath to calm down before expressing yourself in a reserved manner.

Think Beyond Your Initial Reaction

You might feel angry because you’ve been wronged or treated unjustly. Or maybe you’re dealing with a more complicated problem, and you’re simply trying to find someone to blame. It’s important to reflect on the root causes of your anger so that you don’t react in a way that you may regret. Consider why you feel angry and how you can make the situation right before you bring up the problem with anyone else.

React Slowly

It can feel like anger demands immediate attention. You may feel like if you don’t act on your anger right away, you’ll miss out on the opportunity to fix whatever went wrong or ask for an apology. But reacting slowly has its merits. If you react too hastily, you could easily end up making a decision that doesn’t serve you purely out of spite. Reacting slowly gives you the chance to think about the best course of action.

Say What You Mean

Have you ever said something mean to someone you loved in a fit of anger? Afterward, you probably felt awful, and you may have felt the need to apologize immediately. When you’re angry, you can easily say something that you don’t mean. It can feel like your anger takes over. And when you realize that you can’t take back what you said, you might wish that you had waited to calm down before speaking up. Give yourself space to relax first, and then talk about what’s on your mind. You can make sure that you only say what you truly mean.

Avoid Ruminating

Suppressing anger can leave you ruminating for days, weeks, or even months. Perhaps you’ve even felt angry over a particular incident for years because you never spoke up about how you were hurt. Calming down before bringing up what made you angry is always a good idea. But you don’t need to shove your anger under the rug, either. Ruminating on your anger can cause your mental health and relationships to suffer. Instead, make time for open, honest conversations when you’re feeling upset so that you can get it off your chest.

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Are you struggling with anger management? Talking to a therapist can help. Reach out to us today to discuss your options for scheduling your first session.