PTSD and Arguments

Dealing with arguments in an intimate relationship can be challenging for anyone. But for individuals with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), arguments can be challenging and triggering. PTSD is a mental health condition that can develop after someone experiences or witnesses a traumatic event. As a result, it can significantly impact how they navigate disagreements with their partner.

If you or your partner have PTSD, it’s essential to understand how arguments can affect your relationship. Here are six ways that arguments can impact individuals with PTSD:

Triggers 

• People with PTSD have triggers that become activated during an argument. These triggers can include loud noises, intense emotions, or conflict, often known as a perceived threat. When these triggers are activated, they can cause PTSD symptoms such as flashbacks, nightmares, and emotional distress. 

Hypervigilance 

• Individuals with PTSD are more aware of their surroundings and potential threats, making them feel defensive or reactive during an argument, even if the conversation is not threatening. These sensations can make communicating challenging, as the person may be more focused on the perceived threat than on the conversation itself.

Emotional Regulation 

• PTSD can make it difficult to regulate emotions during an argument. They may struggle to express their feelings or needs effectively and experience emotional numbness or hyperarousal, making it hard to manage emotions.

Fear of Abandonment 

• Individuals with PTSD fear abandonment, often evoked during an argument. This fear of losing the relationship or being left alone can cause anxiety and distress, even if the argument is unrelated to the relationship itself. This fear can make it hard to resolve conflict, leading the individual to withdraw or shut down during an argument. Or, in more threatening cases, increased flight or fight.

Guilt and Shame 

• Individuals with PTSD experience guilt and shame related to their traumatic experiences. These feelings can be triggered during an argument, leading the individual to blame themselves for the conflict or feel responsible for fixing the relationship. This can lead to self-doubt and inadequacy, making it difficult to resolve healthy conflict.

Avoidance 

• Individuals with PTSD may avoid arguments altogether as a coping mechanism for managing PTSD symptoms. Avoidance can involve withdrawing from the argument, avoiding conflict, or shutting down emotionally. Although avoidance may provide temporary relief, it can lead to further relationship problems and prevent healthy conflict resolution.

In conclusion, if you or your partner have PTSD, it’s crucial to understand how arguments can affect your relationship. Triggers, hypervigilance, emotional regulation, fear of abandonment, guilt, shame, and avoidance can make it hard to engage in healthy conflict resolution. Communication and understanding are vital to managing these challenges together. Seeking professional support from a therapist or counselor can also help manage PTSD symptoms and improve the relationship.

Jeremy R. Allen, Licensed Professional Counselor
Son. Veteran. Husband. Father. Psychotherapist.
www.jeremyrallen.com